"Now Playing" - BUYER BEWARE!

Maybe a month and a half ago, towards the beginning of the summer, I finally decided to give in and subscribe to TCM's "Now Playing" magazine. I had seen enough commercials on their channel (Turner Classic Movies), with Robert Osborne appealing the "exciting features" of the magazine. Here's what I was promised:

• Editorial articles
• Rare photographs
• TCM's full schedule for the month (and by this, they're not kidding)
• A crossword puzzle
• Ben's picks (AKA, Ben Mankiewicz, Joe's nephew and host of TCM)
• And many more thrilling features for you to pay $12 a year for!

Here's how the photographs of this "magazine" looked on their site:

Looks pretty great, right?

So, here I am, waiting for weeks and weeks excitedly for this amazing magazine about classic movies to show up. You can picture what I imagined - something big and glossy.

Yesterday, we came back from the orthodontist, strolled in the door, and I just happened to look over at the counter at the stack of mail - some clothing catalogs, some bills, some junk mail... and then something that looked like a pamphlet. Not even a magazine. A PAMPHLET.

It had a picture of Kirk Douglas on the cover. And it said "NOW PLAYING."

I went, "Oh no, oh no, this can't be it," as I held it in disbelief. Because it was made out of newspaper material. And it was so skinny, I was sure I could get through it in a few minutes. And so tiny. 

Then my dad took it from me and he started laughing, "This is it? This it?" And he began to flip through it. "I can fit it in my wallet!" And - "Good thing you saw it, otherwise I would've thrown it away." The first couple pages consisted of those "editorial articles promised" - maybe two or three squeezed onto a page, and the rest of it was their schedule for the month of September. And, oh. A crossword puzzle with Marilyn Monroe's face in the middle.

I'm not kidding. To show you how small it is, I've placed my pamphlet next to my iPod touch. It is about twice the height of my iPod.

But that's not all. Look how THIN it is.

It even had those little tabs on the top, like the little brochures in the mail do.

See? Right above Kirk's head.

I believe that good things can come in little packages. (I mean, look at Edward G. Robinson.) I would NOT have been disappointed with the size, or thinness, of the magazine if each page inside were filled with interesting articles. But the "editorial articles" written by the hosts take up only about the first five pages of the magazine. The rest is this -

Doesn't Helen Bonham Carter look like Ingy up in that picture? She's obviously no where near as pretty though.

Now, come on! If I wanted a program schedule, I would've ordered TV Guide.

So, I did check out the few, measly articles that were included. On the crinkly paper, a tiny worded tribute to Kirk Douglas on the first page, written by Robert O. Well written, but simply one page? I was looking for full spreads on the "stars of the month."

There is a "Book Corner," featuring a book about Judy Garland. A little note about the films they'll be showing on September 11th for the 10th anniversary of 9/11, and "Ben's Pick." A very quick note from the guest programmer of the month, Cher (I was actually surprised to learn from it that one of her favorite movies is "The Big Street," starring my one and only, Lucille Ball).

These articles are good and entertaining, but WAY too short. They could easily be expanded to fill the thin pages of this magazine. If they cannot afford a thicker magazine, they should cut down on the film schedule and fill it with articles instead. That would be a much more interesting read.

I expected a lot more and I was very let down. As for the "crossword puzzle," this is a let down, too. Most of the clues are too easy to make it any bit challenging. For example - "Some like it ____." Even the dumbest dimwit could tell you that it's "hot."

I'm going to give it a try, but what a disappointment! Especially since I love TCM. If you check out their page about the magazine, it looks a lot like some false advertisement to me...

https://secure.palmcoastd.com/pcd/eServ?iServ=MDI2MzE1ODA5NA==

I notice now that they tell you the size of the magazine and how long it is - 36 pages! Yippee! - but still, they don't make it very clear that all it really is a program guide.

* Lets out a sigh. * Oh, well. At least I know what's coming up on TCM this month.

On a brighter note, I received one of the many books I've ordered through the mail - "The Lucille Ball FAQ," which looks really great. And, also, my Lucille Ball Film Collection. At least that turned out alright.