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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Reviews By a 10 Year Old Kid (AKA: Rianna embarrasses herself)

Taking a note from a few other bloggers, I have decided to embarrass myself greatly and share with you five little reviews I wrote as a nine or ten year old kid. Please remember that I was nine. I hope you get a good laugh out of it, my lovely little blog readers. I was in a bit of a writer's block today - but tomorrow I can probably produce something more worthy of your time. For now... have a good giggle.

Well will start off with Rianna's incredibly embarrassing ten year old child review for "Forever Darling" (1956), with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz.

Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz

Ten year old Rianna says -

Even though this movie litrally would've been titled, "Four More Years, Darling", since the love duo of Ball and Arnaz lasted until 1960 only, "Forever, Darling" is sweet and charming. It's a lot like the amazing TV series and "The Long, Long Trailer", but I liked this better than the Long, Long Trailer. Ball and Arnaz play similar characters to their TV show, but slightly different. Arnaz is a scientist this time and Ball is not always botching things up. Susan Vega (Ball) and Larry Vega (Arnaz) were the perfect couple when they were married. But five years later, they are drifting a part. Susan is turning into a clone of her cousin Millie Opdike, and no matter how hard she tries, she can't stop swooning over James Mason at the movies! Larry is almost never at home for dinner nad is constantly eating, breathing, and thinking all about his new pesticide. (Except for that one time when he has a dream about Ava Gardner.....). Then Larry announces that he and Susan will be taking a 2 year field trip to test the pesticide! Susan is furious. After having a fight with Larry, her guardian angel, James Mason, shows up. She has mixed emotions about Mason-first she's scared of him, then angry at him, and then in love with him! But Mason, in his charming voice and attitude, is able to coax Susan into learning more about Larry's work. Susan suddenly, with a burst of inspiration, agrees. She finds the perfect oppertunity to do so when Larry announces he's going on a camping trip for a day to test the pesticide before the 2 year field trip. Nothing can go wrong, can it? But, of course, in it's usual Lucy way, it does! This movie, of course, is perdictible. But Ball and Arnaz's acting, of course, is superb. So what, it's not an Oscar-y movie, but it's still great for Lucy fans. Four stars for pure Desiluness! ~~~~~~~~

What Makes Teenage Rianna Cringe the Most - 

  • My usage of the phrase "love duo". UGH! What the bloody L is that supposed to mean? (Yes, I'm  American - but I have habit of using British phrases. Long story... you'll get used to it) This makes me cringe so much I was contemplating not even mentioning it ;)
  • The fact that I give away nearly the entire plot, making this review about a thousand pages long. 
  • My insane obsession with "~". I guess i thought it looked cool. (?)
  • Last but not least, my equally obnoxious use of "Desiluness." Only a true Lucy fan could use a word like THAT. Plus, as much as I love Lucy and Desi, too, it isn't really a four star movie. And "The Long Long Trailer" is much better. But I guess, in my little ten year old brain...

Next to suffer my ten year old wrath is "The Lady Eve" (1941). * shivers *

"THE LADY EVE (1941)"
Barbara Stanwyck, Henry Fonda

Ten year old Rianna says - 
'The Lady Eve' is a fun movie, good for kids ages ten and up. (They will understand the idea more.) The beginning is a little rocky, but soon you will be propelled into the plot as Stanwyck, playing a young daughter of a con-artist tries to ploy into Fonda, a 'geeky' but handsome young man who has just come back from an Amazon tour and "isn't used to seeing women still.” As expected, he is loaded with cash. Stanwyck and her father try to con money out of him by playing casino games, and Stanwyck begins a planned romantic relationship with Fonda. Fonda, easily fooled, plays along and soon Stanwyck finds herself actually in love with the young man! The rest, I will leave to everyone else to find out, but you’ll find a lot of inner-joy and pleasure to watch this movie, and will be very ‘pleased as pink’, as they say, at the nice turnout. I’d give it a 4 and a half stars if I could, but I can’t, so it’s displayed as 4 stars above, but really, I’d give it 4 and a half. Rent this movie as soon as you can! (And try to ignore Stanwyck’s fur coat, please).
What Makes Teenage Rianna Cringe the Most -
  • My trying to determine the perfect age group for watchers of "The Lady Eve." Because a 10 year old kid would totally know that, right?
  • My use of "inner-joy" and "pleased as pink." 'Nuff said.
  • My great indecision and babbling about the film's rating.... that would just make any person annoyed, wouldn't it?
  • The "trying to ignore Stanwyck's fur coat, please." I am still totally against fur - I have a chinchilla, after all! - but still... it's just... I don't know. annoying sounding. To me, anyway ;)
Okay, I'll give you just one more. This is for "The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer" (1947).

Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple

Ten year old Rianna says - 
I wasn't surprised that I enjoyed Cary Grant (a la Archibald Leach.....funny) and Myrna Loy's preformances in this movie, but I was surprised that I enjoyed Shirley Temple. I was very much afraid this would be another showcase of her dripping sweet cuteness and silly songs, but thank goodness, I guess growing up helped. Surprisingly, she really DID deserve to be in this movie with these two Hollywood stars and made the best out of it. Temple plays a love-struck teenager who is in love with a man, Grant, that comes to speak at her school. Loy, who plays Temple's older sister, however, finds the man horribly annoying. It's a really cute movie if you're trying to introduce a teenager to classic movies and show that classic movies CAN be cool (and in many situations, cooler than today's movies). It's sweet and what I would call a classic chic flick (You don't need Kate Hudson or designer Prada labels in a movie for it to be a chic flick, or made in the last few years). I enjoyed it; it was really cute, for sure. It will bring you back to the era.....of bobby-soxers! ~ rent this movie!!!!!
What Makes Teenage Rianna Cringe the Most -
  • My use of "dripping sweet cuteness and silly songs" - it just doesn't make sense. I mean, as much as I am not a big Shirley fan, she was a teenager by now, so really, what was I expecting?
  • The whole business about me blabbering away about using this movie to introduce classics to teenagers - in spite of the fact I wasn't yet a teenager myself. I mean, yeah, it's a good movie. But still, I'm just blabbering too much.
  • My spelling of chick flick as "chic flick." Good God! 
  • "back to the era.........of bobby soxers!" follow by yet another "~" and more !!!!!!

Well, I don't know about you, but I've finished embarrassing myself at the present moment. Oh, who knows? I may embarrass myself like this some more another day. But for today, I'm finished.

Before I leave you, yesterday I went to the bookstore and got two books - "Diana at 50" by Life magazine (it's got tons of great pictures... more on that later) and "Desilu", which i am not sure why I didn't get it earlier! It's got some great pictures of Lucy and Desi inside, and the following is one of my favorite. I scanned it for you. It's so awesome/and lovely. I love the pictures of them as children on the wall with the plaques underneath that read "Our President" and "Our Vice President." (They mean President and Vice-President of Desilu, of course).



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