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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Classic Mustaches for Movember || Mustache Hall of Horror

So, Bette of the lovely Bette's Classic Movie Blog is hosting "Classic Mustaches for Movember". What is "Movember?" According to their website:

During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces, in the US and around the world. With their Mo’s, these men raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men.

Bette has decided to promote this worthy cause by holding this blogathon, and the topic of discussion is basically classic movie mustaches. Mustaches were pretty popular back in the 30's and 40's, and you shouldn't be surprised to discover that at least a few of your favorite leading men have sprouted mustaches for a particular movie role! 

Anyway, before I get into the actual post, if you'd like to donate to Movember, you can do so by going here. It's a real worthy cause so give it a thought, would you? :)

Okay, now onto the post. A lot of leading men famously sprouted mustaches throughout their movie career, and they looked pretty good with them. Like William PowellClark GableErrol Flynn, and perhaps most famously, Charlie Chaplin with his "Little Tramp" mustache.  And on occasion, probably Robert Taylor and Ronald Colman too.

However, most every leading man of the Golden Era was required to grow a mustache at some point in their career, usually for a movie role or so. These usually well shaven faces startled us with their new mustaches, and though sometimes it worked, let's be fair: sometimes it was a complete disaster.

And, so I present to you, the Mustache Hall of Horror. Our favorite leading men sprouting upper lip hair that should have been outlawed. Brace yourself!

(and shame.) 

10. Desi Arnaz

Yes, I know, this was for a costume party. But I actually think I've got a picture of Desi somewhere in my Lucy file completely unshaven, beard, mustache, everything during the war. My Lucy file happens to be really humungus though (surprise, surprise) and for the sake of time, I didn't sort through it to find it. (It was too scary besides.) But anyway, bottom line. Like Lucy in the screencap at the beginning of this post ("The Mustache" episode), I like Desi much better without a mustache!

9. Robert Redford

I know, I know, I know! Robert Redford isn't Classic Hollywood, but I do like him ("Rianna, what modern actors do you like?" "Oh, I like Robert Redford and Barbara Striesand and Jane Fonda...") and I just had to include him in this list because I'm telling you: IT'S SCARY. I think this is for "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid", which I never got through because I hate Westerns. That's besides the point, anyway. LOOK AT IT. It's thick and yellow. Run for your lives! Thank God he never went for this look permanently. 

8. Rock Hudson

WHY????? NO, SERIOUSLY WHY????!!!! Okay, well, I know why. It was for his tv show. BUT LOOK AT THAT 70'S STACHE! IT'S SCARY! AND IT'S ON ROCK HUDSON! AND IT'S SCARY!             * hyperventilation* I could be just imaging this, but I also think he sported a mustache in one of his movies with Doris Day, but that was because he was trying to trick Dodo into think he was someone he was not. Wait, that's confusing, is it not? Bottom line: GO SHAVE IT OFF, ROCK! GO SHAVE IT OFF!

 7. Fred Astaire

I honestly can't find words for this. I mean, I love Fred but seriously? I wouldn't want to dance cheek to cheek with him if he had that cookieduster, and I've got a feeling Ginger Rogers wouldn't either. Here he is sporting another one with Audrey, but let's just hope they're fooling around and leave it at that. 

 6. Gary Cooper

No, Gary. No. Just no. :( Gary Cooper, who I have been gaining a greater appreciation for, might look somewhat decent after what we just witnessed with Fred, but when you boil down to it, I'd be shaving that away, Gary. I mean, just stop and think and imagine if it that was his usual look. Sends chills down your spine now, doesn't it?

5. Gregory Peck

OH NO. WHYYYY. WHY. :( NO, SERIOUSLY, WHY. It just work, really it doesn't. And I weep :(  No, I mean it, but seriously. Like the more I stare at this it just doesn't seem right. I really want to virtually rip this mustache off, but you know, thank goodness it was only a temporary thing (which pretty much applies to all mentioned on this list).

4. Henry Fonda

No. Just honestly, no. It's hard to look at really. It makes Henry look like some kind of a lumberjack/ax murderer or something. Natalie at In the Mood said something like it murders the boyish quality of Henry [MURDER is an excellent word], and I have to agree. Then she added "not to mention he looks really stupid"... which he DOES. Just seriously, this is completely unnecessary on several levels. ** shakes head **

3. Humphrey Bogart

what???? WHY????? WAS IT REALLY NEEDED? SERIOUSLY?  I moan. I cry. Seriously, when I was looking for these ridiculous mustaches I was getting nervous I may find this, and I did. I have to turn away, I simply cannot look. This is...  words can't explain. Being a writer I rarely ever use that expression but this time, there are just no words. He doesn't even look like the Bogie we all know and love. :( This was just murder here.

2. Jimmy Stewart



1. Cary Grant

So. So I stared at this for a long time. I told myself, "You know, maybe it's not that bad, some people might find that attractive, hey he kind of resembles Errol Flynn." A lot of stuff and nonsense. And then: there is no excuse for this. There is no excuse for the people who did this, who deterred Cary's face like this. I honestly do not know what movie this came from. But if I ever happen to turn on a Cary movie and see this, I tell you, I'm switching it off. How was this not against the law?. It could have been prevented. Where was our legislative government when this happened? Hello, Congress? THIS was an injustice, I tell you. A crime. A part of my heart chipped away and died, really. 

Well, that's all. I'll spare you now, no more scary pictures, I promise. I think we all need to go and take a big glass of water and go enjoy these leading men in some well shaven roles. At least, that's what I plan on doing.... 

Many, many thanks to Bette for hosting this blogathon. Don't let the scary pictures deter you from the blogathon's point at heart:  it's for a good cause. Don't forget: Movember! Try and make a donation: I'm sure all contributions of different sizes are accepted and will be utilized! ;)

Also, this blogathon will last throughout the rest of the month. Some great bloggers have already written some brilliantly awesome posts, and I'm sure there will be a few more as well, so go check those out, too! :D

I'm going to try and put together a Classic Hollywood Thanksgiving post (I actually do have something in mind) for tomorrow, but if I can't then I'll say it now: HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING! :) 

well, see, she's gorgeous in everything, so she looks fabulous of course! <3


StanwyckFan said...

Rianna. THAT WAS FREAKING GENIUS. I was laughing so hard my parents asked what movie I was watching. ;) Oh, and thank you for quoting me - being quoted makes me happy. ;) Anyway, yeah, you've proven your awesomeness again.

Dani said...

I actually like Redford's mustache. He looks good in anything. And you should give Butch Cassidy a chance. It's an amazing movie.
By the way, this was a very entertaining read. You're a funny lady.

Rianna said...

Natalie: Yay, thank you, Natalie!!! :D Lol, I laughed out loud when you said your parents asked you what movie you were watching -;) You're welcome, I quoited you because I agree 100% with what you said. :D Thanks so much! :)

Dani: It's true, Robert Redford looks good in anything. But I do like him clean shaven :) And yeah, I'll give Butch Cassidy a try. (If I can get past the mustache, that is...) Anyway, thanks and I'm glad you think so -;)

R.C. said...

Hello. I came across your blog through Natalie's, and I'm so glad I did, because this post was just hilarious. As soon as I realized what you were doing (I read the strip with Lucy and Desi, and was slightly confused), I just KNEW that Cary Grnat was going to be included in it. And, boy, was I right. He donned that mustasche for The Last Outpost with Claude Rains. I hate Cary with a mustache, just throws him completely off balance for me. I do, however, like him in Father Goose when he's all scruffy and "dirty". Anyways, hilarious post.

Rianna said...

Hi, and thanks for following me! I'm happy you liked this post and found it funny. I'm totally going to avoid The Last Outpost now. Cary with a mustache is like Lucy without red hair, it just doesn't work. He was quite a bit older in Father Goose, and the unshaven look certainly worked for his boozy character. I'll always like him best clean shaven, though! Thanks for the comment. :)

Rianna said...

Hey everyone! I would like to inform you all not to post spam comments. Spam comments will be reported and deleted. In products being advertised must have permission from ME. Thank you and have a Happy New Year.

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